Recently, a megachurch pastor drew fire for saying, “Don't
attend a church that teaches your children to hate church.” The larger context
of his statements indicated that smaller churches are the kind of churches that
cause children to hate church. This pastor, who I will leave nameless, has
since apologized for his disparaging comments. The quote above, however, is irrefutably
correct: we should not attend churches that
teach our children to hate church. Of course this maxim immediately raises
questions such as “What makes a church attractive in the first place?” and “What
kind of church teaches my kids to love
the local church?”
There are a variety of considerations that may factor into a
parent’s decision regarding which local fellowship of believers to join in
membership. At minimum, however, there are at least three attributes that make
a church attractive regardless of its size or the number of its programs.
God’s love to us
First, the local church is attractive regardless of its size
when it centers its life and worship on the excellence of Christ and his
gospel. In Matthew 16, Jesus polls his disciples: “Who do people say that the
Son of Man is?” (v. 13). The disciples
answered, “John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of
the prophets” (v. 14). But Jesus presses, “But who do you say that I am?” And
to this question Peter replies, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God”
(v. 16). Jesus then continues to explain that it is upon “this rock”—that is,
this confession that will be proclaimed by his apostles and all disciples—that
he will “build his church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it”
(v. 18).
The excellence of Jesus Christ, “the Son of the living God,”
is the foundation for the church. He is its cornerstone (Luke 20:17; Acts 4:11;
Eph 2:20; 1 Pet 2:6–7). The church’s foundation is not its size or the number
of its programs or something else. Jesus Christ, the supreme expression of
God’s love to us (John 3:16; Rom 5:8), is the church’s foundation and its chief
cornerstone. The church’s attractiveness and beauty are likewise found in him. Ultimately,
it is the beauty of God’s love and grace to us in Christ that is attractive.
Thus, our pursuit of a local church that is attractive to our children for all
the right reasons is a local church that centers its worship and life on Christ
and his gospel.
God’s love among us
Second, the local church is attractive, regardless of its
size, when its members express the love of Christ one to another. Jesus tells
his apostles, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just
as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will
know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John
13:34–35). If the foundation of the church is Jesus Christ (God’s love to us), then
its frame and substance is the love of God expressed to one another (God’s love
among us). This love is shaped by the various “one another” commands in the New
Testament.
For example, believers are
commanded to “love one another” (John 13:34–35), “be at peace with one another”
(Mark 9:50), “wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14), “outdo one another in
showing honor” (Rom 12:16), “live in harmony with one another” (Rom 12:16),
“instruct one another” (Rom 15:14), “greet one another” (Rom 16:16), “wait for
one another” at the Lord’s Supper (1 Cor 11:33), “through love serve one
another” (Gal 5:13), “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal 6:2), “bear with one
another in love” and this “with all humility and gentleness, with patience (Eph
4:2), “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave” us (Eph 4:32; Col 3:13), “submit to one another” (Eph 5:21),
“in humility count others more significant than” ourselves (Phil 2:3),
“encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thess 5:11), “always seek
to do good to one another and to everyone” (1 Thess 5:15), “consider how to
stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb 10:24), “confess your sins to
one another and pray for one another” (Jam 5:16), “show hospitality to one
another without grumbling” (1 Pet 4:9), “clothe yourselves . . . with humility
toward one another” (1 Pet 5:5), “have fellowship with one another” as we “walk
in the light” (1 John 1:7).
Conversely, believers are
commanded not to “provoke” or “envy
one another” (Gal 5:26), “lie to one another” (Col 3:9), “speak evil against
one another” (Jam 4:11), or “grumble against one another” (Jam 5:9). The “one another” commands display the
multi-faceted love of God that is to be characteristic of the local church. It
is by this love that all will know that we belong to him.
It is hard to imagine an Awana
program or program-rich youth ministry standing in for the qualities above. The
simple fact is, they cannot, and we don’t want them to. Parents pursuing the
question of this post should consider the respective church’s expression of
love for one another. A church that loves “one another” in these ways is undeniably
beautiful.[1]
God’s love through us
Finally, the local church is attractive, regardless of its
size, when its members express the love of Christ to the world. Disciples of
Jesus Christ “adorn” the gospel of God’s grace through good works as well as a
Christian work ethic (cf. Titus 2:10). Their good works bring glory to God. As
Jesus taught in his Sermon on the Mount, “Let your light shine before others,
so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in
heaven” (Matt 5:16).
God has ordained that the grace he has given to us would
flow through us in tangible ways to the world. Paul teaches in Titus that Jesus
“gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for
himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works” (Titus
2:14). Immediately after teaching the Ephesians that salvation is “by grace
through faith” and “not a result of works” (Eph 2:8, 9), Paul makes it clear
that while we are not saved by good
works, we are saved unto good works.
He writes, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good
works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Eph
2:8–10; emphasis added).
The love of God expressed in good deeds and practical
ministry adorns the gospel and reveals its true character to all who see it,
including our kids. While programs are not at odds with this key attribute, programs
cannot substitute for it. Proper consideration of our children in selecting a
church home prizes this gospel-adorning attribute.
Conclusion
What kind of church should I attend that will teach my kids
to love and not hate the local church? If the beauty
of the church is found in programing and the ability for our kids to have a
fairly large pool of other Christian kids to grow up with and make memories
with, then the answer is simply “go to a large church.” Large churches have any
number of resources that small churches lack. If, however, the church’s beauty,
as argued above, is found in God’s love for
us, God’s love among us, and God’s
love through us, then the answer is
found in quality not quantity.
Before concluding, two qualifications are in order. First,
no church is perfect. The bride of Christ will not be perfect until her
bridegroom returns and glorifies her. In fact, she is currently undergoing an
ongoing purification process (Eph 5:25–27). Therefore, we must evaluate the
relative health of a local church with humility, and it is certain that as we
do we will note areas of weakness. Where deficiencies exist we should be quick
to acknowledge that on some level we are part of the problem! We must commit
ourselves to pray and work for health in these areas (cf. Eph 4:16).
Second, we must also remember, that only the gospel of Jesus
Christ is the power of God for salvation (Rom 1:16-17). Finding a church that
is beautiful in the ways we have described does not guarantee our children’s
salvation or long-term love of the local church. We must lead our children to
see their sin and to see the excellence of our Lord and Savior through the
light of his word (2 Tim 3:15). He is our only hope for their salvation.
Parents should consider their children when deciding what church they join.
Anything less than consideration on the part of parents in this decision is
dereliction. However, the core issues of parental consideration should be the
love of God as it is celebrated in worship, manifested in fellowship, and
embodied in practical ministry to the world.
May the Lord give us wisdom to value the qualities that are most
important, and help us devote ourselves to fostering these qualities in
whatever local churches in which we participate.
[1]In
his classic work Pilgrim’s Progress, John
Bunyan described the church as “a stately palace . . . the name of which was
Beautiful.” Further, he said that this house was “built by the Lord of the hill
. . . for the relief and security of pilgrims.” When church members love “one
another” as instructed in the NT, the best description of its fellowship is
“beautiful” (John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s
Progress, Part 1, Stage 3 [on-line]; accessed 17 January 2016; available
from http://www.ccel.org/ccel/bunyan/pilgrim.iv.iii.html).
This post originally appeared at www.ChurchandGospel.com (March 2016) - http://www.churchandgospel.com/2016/03/22/what-makes-a-church-attractive-to-kids/
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